It has been a long-held view of mine that, generally, things will be better when I pass this age behind. It hasn’t always been the age I am now, specifically; really, I’ve just always assumed that something greater lies beyond the now. The grass is greener on the other side, if you will.
I was told recently that this can be scientifically proven. There’s something about the direct angle at which we view a neighbor’s yard that makes the light reflect in such a way that more green is shown on a lawn farther away than the one at your own feet. In short, the grass you're standing on always has just a bit more brown than the grass that you're looking at, aspiring to, or dreaming about without any basis for your conclusions.
For me, that has never been on the other side of the fence, or across the street, or any other neighborhood-themed continuation of the metaphor. It’s always been the grass in front of me, the grass I’m about to tread upon, that has caught my eye (often so much so that I rarely really look at where I am). I suppose the angle trick works just as well there.
I have come to discover recently (you’ll see that phrase quite a bit here, I think) that the only thing that may be at work here is angles. I romanticize the future, perhaps, because I have no definites about it. There are certain things I know are true right now; I know the names of my friends, I know my class schedules, I know the websites I frequent, and I know the problems that I’m going to have to face in an hour or a week or a month or four years. Those all exist in my head, if not as definites then at least as vague ideas of what the future holds. The rest, however, is mystery . . . I have no idea who my friends, or my love interests, or any of the above will be six months from now, and I probably have not yet met them. Looking down at my feet I see some fight with some girlfriend that’s plagued me, or a huge paper due in a week, or a payment I’m going to have to make next month. I see the brown that's there, because there are no angles of uncertainty to highlight the green. It’s right below me and it’s concrete. I look in the future, and I know the blades of grass will be there, the fights or the paper or the payment, but I can’t see them right now and only the green shows through, the rest hidden by angles that mask reality.
I’m not sure why I put life into little metaphors; maybe it’s my way of qualifying the things I think, or maybe it’s just a little part of being different, but this one is one I’ve been struggling with for a few years, and I am beginning to get the sense that it’s not going anywhere.
This is something that applies to everyone, across the board. There is a reason the "grass is greener" phrase exists. I love the perspective you've put on it.
That being said, let me put what I've learned into one simple phrase, and it's a phrase that applies to younger rather than older, but it always applies (I'll explain that in a moment):
Always keep your options open.
The younger you are, the more important it is, because you still have all sorts of mistakes to make, and things to figure out. As you get older, you learn what to keep open, and what simply needs to be closed. Take relationships. If you're young, you look for "greener grass," keeping your options open. You like your current significant other, and you're faithful, but keeping your options open, at least initially, won't kill you.
Keeping your options open LATER, after you've figured out this is the person you really want to be with, that's just stupid. You find someone, you like them, you get to the point where you're ready to move on with that person, and BURN THE BRIDGE to opportunity where relationships are concerned. It's not worth it.
If something happens in that relationship and another bridge is built somewhere else, then you'll know when that happens, which is NOT the same thing as just leaving for something you think might be better.
My feeling on the grass is greener? It's horseshit. The grass is the same color. It will be different (not in the "bad" sense)...but better?not likely. worse...probably. Stick with the sure thing.
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Sonic wrote
I'd have to disagree...
The normal interpretation of the whole green grass thing is that you should just sit down and take what you've been given, things are what they are, which is just nuts. Sometimes the grass is greener, sometimes it isn't. You have to try to figure out which of your problems are due to your environment (or are just a matter of time) and which ones are part of a bigger problem. The problem that most people have is that they don't have a clear idea of which problems are solved by which actions, and so they keep on moving, always trying to find the greener grass. Discard prior conclusions and take another long, hard look at what bothers you, and much can be accomplished.